What is Unconditional Confidence?

What is Unconditional Confidence?

Unconditional Confidence® is a training program that gives you the tools, experience and support you need to speak or perform in public with complete confidence, ease and your own kind of creative charisma.

Because everyone has different needs and goals relative to becoming confident, creative and free in one’s self-expresson, all Unconditional Confidence training programs can be tailored to meet your individual needs and desires.

What can Unconditional Confidence do for you?

Well, it will allow you to:

  • Never again be tormented by those stomach-churning, mouth-drying, knee-knocking feelings of anxiety.
  • Stay focused, fearless and fully present anytime you are expressing yourself so you can always be at your best.
  • Have a great time (yes, a great time) when you are expressing yourself, no matter what!
  • Make a powerful connection with everyone in your audience, whether it’s an audience of one or one thousand.
  • Celebrate and trust your own unique way of expressing yourself and never again second-guess your ability to speak or perform, even if it’s at a moment’s notice.
  • Enjoy an unconditional confidence and joy in every area of your life.

How does the Unconditional Confidence program do all that?

By giving you:

  • Power Tools to transform your experience of speaking or performing in public so that you can create the experience you want rather than the one you dread. These Power Tools work with every aspect of your experience — physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.

    These are tools I have collected, distilled and developed through my journey to becoming unconditionally confident. You can read more about the schools of experts who influenced the development of these Power Tools here.

  • Experience. As you use these Power Tools your relationship to speaking and performing is transformed so that you start to have a great time every time you are expressing yourself in any way.
  • Tons and tons of support and coaching. Developing confidence is a personal journey with ups and downs and everything in between. EVERYONE needs support and coaching from someone who’s been through it! All my programs include lots of support and coaching.
  • Fun! The journey gets to be as fun as the destination. In fact, the journey better be fun or perhaps it’s the wrong journey to take. Unconditional Confidence programs come with a high fun factor included.

Since everyone learns differently, Unconditional Confidence offers the “tortoise and the hare” approach to becoming fearless and free in one’s self-expression.

If you just want some quick tips and tools to get you through your next presentation with ease while creating an authentic connection with your audience, you can find what you need in the “Gimme Confidence Quick” programs and products.

If you want to feel an unconditional confidence deep in your bones, if you want to know that you are confident and free regardless of the situation or challenge before you, then the Unconditional Confidence 6-week programs are for you. These 6-week programs are recommended for those who want to experience a profound and powerful internal shift towards living a life of pure positive energy, confidence and joy.

It starts here!

Sign up for “Becoming Fearless,” a monthly e-zine (sign up at the top of this page). Then, be sure to check out the different programs offered on the Programs & Products page. There’s something for everyone. If you have any questions, email me at nancy [at] unconditionalconfidence.com

About Nancy

Who’s In Charge Here?

Laughing Nancy TierneyMy name is Nancy Tierney. I’m a professional singer and a confidence coach who teaches people how to have complete confidence, creative freedom and tons of fun any time they are speaking or performing in public. Why am I qualified to help you become unconditionally confident?

Because the proof is in the pudding, and baby, I’m the pudding.

Let me explain: Years ago, I suffered from the most debilitating form of stage fright. Whenever I sang in public, my entire mouth would dry out so badly I couldn’t swallow, much less sing. Have you ever tried to sing when there isn’t one drop of saliva in your mouth? It’s not fun.

Every performance was difficult and depressing. Even though I loved to sing, this intense physical anxiety crippled my ability to perform and murdered any pleasure or satisfaction I might have felt in expressing myself through music.

As a somatic therapist and as an artist, I knew that there had to be a way to break free from this curse of stage fright. I told myself that either I would find a way to perform with ease and joy or I was going to give it up!

For over five years, I researched, trained and experimented with many methods offered by experts. I read books on eliminating stage fright and becoming fearless. I threw myself into the fire of experience. I discovered what worked, what didn’t and what just made things worse! I separated the superficial, flimsy, get-confident-quick schemes from the techniques and practices that really worked.

And I started feeling much more comfortable on stage. But I wasn’t really enjoying myself all that much. I just enjoyed getting through each performance unscathed.

Finally, in the year 2002, I discovered a simple yet life-changing process that made all the difference in the world. This powerful piece of the puzzle liberated me from all feelings of fear, anxiety and stage fright and gave me the joy and pleasure of being able to have the time of my life everytime I was in front of an audience.

Which reminds me, you can check out my singing site here.

This new level of confidence and freedom translated to every area of my life. Sure, there are times when I feel uncertain, times when I have attacks of self-doubt. But now I know what to do now. I know how to come back home to myself in a way that allows me to feel completely confident, powerfully present and fully alive.

Out of this experience and all that I learned along the way, I created the Unconditional Confidence program. I know without a doubt that this is one of the most powerful, transformational programs available for helping you become completely confident, authentic and free anytime you are speaking, performing or expressing yourself in any way.

My passion and primary purpose is to liberate people like you from the fear and anxiety that holds you back from becoming the star that you are and to give you the tools, experience and support you need to live a fully-expressed, magnificent life of outrageous freedom and joy. And to have a ton of fun all along the way!

— Nancy Tierney


You can be completely confident and
have the time of your life
any time you are speaking, performing or
expressing yourself in any way.

Do you feel nervous or scared when
you speak or perform in public?

Does your nervousness trip you up
when you’re trying to be at your best?

Is your fear holding you back from
personal and professional success?

Well, cut that out!

You can experience the joy and freedom of being completely confident, powerfully present and perfectly at ease any time you are expressing yourself in any way. Really. No kidding.

The Lovely Nancy Tierney
My name is Nancy Tierney and I’m living proof that you can become unconditionally confident and have the time of your life any time you are speaking, performing or expressing yourself in any way (more about my background here). I created the Unconditional Confidence program so that no one would have to suffer from the same painful, debilitating stage fright that I once had. Believe me, if I can do it, YOU can do it, too.

Whether you want to speak with confidence and charisma to coliseum-sized audiences or you just want to give a toast at your brother’s wedding without fainting, Unconditional Confidence gives you the tools and support you need to have complete confidence, ease and creative freedom anytime you are speaking or performing in public.

So, take a look around. There’s something for everybody.

Coaches' CornerQuench your curiosity! Find out about how Unconditional Confidence might get you to where you want to go.

Discover the fun and flexibility of the “tortoise and the hare” approach to our Programs and Products.

Find out more about me and how I became the Diva of Unconditional Confidence.

Got questions? Get them answered at the FAQ page.

Be sure to sign up for the free “Become the Star You Are” TeleClinic and our free monthly e-zine, “Becoming Fearless.” Sign up at the top of this page.

Shy About Speaking Up in Public?

Who doesn’t want a magic pill or potion to remove all obstacles, fears and doubt?

Sound good?

Well, read the news. There’s a new anti-shyness nasal spray! Yep, that’s right. You can now snort confidence and assertiveness right up your nose.

It appears that scientists in London have been busy creating a nasal spray that will rid you of your shyness.

The drug releases the hormone oxytocin into the brain, increasing self-confidence and lowering anxiousness. It’s undergoing clinical tests right now, but scientists hope to have it out to the masses in just a few years.

Just a few years. Until then, you can decide to hide out, stay quiet and watch a lot of T. V.

Seems to me that anything you can snort up your nose will have a temporary, if any, effect on one’s self-confidence, but I could see how it might lower feelings of anxiety. Other drugs ease anxiety so why not nasal spray?

But wouldn’t you rather have the real thing? Wouldn’t you rather know that you can always be confident in any situation, even without your nasal spray? Just wondering.

Beverly Sills: The Queen of Confidence

Even if you’re not an opera fan, you’ve probably heard of Beverly Sills, one of America’s greatest opera stars and a true diva of the opera world. She died on Monday of lung cancer, even though she never smoked.

As a singer, I have always admired Beverly Sills for her amazing career, her decision to retire in her prime, and her endless devotion to the arts. But I never knew until today just how wise she was. She knew the essence of confidence. Here is a quote of hers that I found on Michelle Bennett’s blog:

Everything you need you already have. You are complete right now, you are a whole, total person, not an apprentice person on the way to someplace else. Your completeness must be understood by you and experienced in your thoughts as your own personal reality.”

This is the essence of confidence, knowing you are complete and whole now. There is nothing you have to achieve to be whole, to be who you really are. You are already great. You are already worthy of everything you desire.

One doesn’t develop confidence. It came in your starter kit when you arrived here. It is part of the package that is you. As Beverly says, you are already whole and complete. You just need to come to an understanding of that, experience it, and know it as your own reality.

This is an adventure of re-discovering what is already there.

By the way, Beverly Sills was known to never experience stage fright. And now you know why.

Here are some more wonderful quotes from Beverly Sills:

I had found a kind of serenity, a new maturity… I didn’t feel better or stronger than anyone else but it seemed no longer important whether everyone loved me or not – more important now was for me to love them. Feeling that way turns your whole life around; living becomes the act of giving.”

You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.


No Nerves Allowed on The Next Food Network Star

Okay, are you watching "The Next Food Network Star" on the Food channel?

This is my first year of watching it and I must say, I like it so much better than Top Chef on Bravo, mostly because the judges seem to want to help these chefs succeed. They give them suggestions and support rather than just tell them that their food sucks.

But I digress.

The Next Food Network Star is a reality show in which 11 chefs complete to have their very own cooking show on the Food Network, like Rachel Ray (who looked so much better when her hair was lighter) and Paula Dean. These 11 chefs are judged not just on how well they cook but on their ability to present their food with pizazz and personality. Basically, to show their star quality.

So, why am I talking about all this when I don’t even really like cooking all that much?

Because on the first or second show of the season, one of the chefs, Tommy  (here’s his photo), couldn’t stop his hands from shaking as he served his bouillabaisse. It was obvious that he was really nervous. So, at the time of the evaluation, just before they kick someone off the show, one of the judges, Bob Tuschman, told Tommy soemthing like, "Hey, even if you’re nervous, don’t show it. Don’t let us see it"

Basically, he told him to fake it. 

Now, you know my stance on faking it. I always say, don’t fake anything. Be real, be yourself, and don’t try to hide anything from your audience.  That old fake-it-until-you-make-it approach only reinforces the myth that you aren’t enough as you are. And it is this myth that causes the fear and anxiety most people experience around speaking in public.

But are there times when it is appropriate to fake it?
Read more

Molly Shannon and The View Talk About The Fear of Public Speaking

Even Saturday Night Live comediennes can be horribly afraid of pubic speaking.

Molly Shannon, comedy film star and well-known contributor to Saturday Night Live, was a guest co-host on ABC’s The View today (damn, I miss Rosie on the show sooooo much), and she talked about how extremely nervous she gets if she has to make a toast at a wedding or speak in public in any way.

"I get so nervous that I can’t enjoy myself until it’s done," says Molly, "It’s one thing to be a character where you’re disguised, but I’m much more nervous and shy as myself."

This seems to be true for a lot of actors. They feel comfortable in a role, but if they have to speak as themselves, eeek!

One of my big tips for people who are nervous about speaking in public is, Be Yourself. But for some people, this is a hard thing to do. Why? Mostly because they feel that if they just show up as themselves, they somehow won’t cut the mustard.

And maybe some actors feel this same way. Or perhaps there is a certain vulnerability they feel if they are just being who they are. As Molly said, you’re not disguised. You have nothing to hide behind.

But why do we need to hide? What’s going to happen if people see who we really are?

I had a client the other day who told me he was feeling so vulnerable the day before he was to give a presentation that he had been working on for some time. His feeling of vulnerability sprang from the risk of sharing something that he had devoted so much time and love and effort towards.

When we really care about something, we feel vulnerable. It’s as if we are at greater risk of being hurt in some way.

But here’s the truth. You can still feel vulnerable and tender yet not be hurt. You can decide to feel the love and care you have for your message or even for your audience AND not let the opinions or judgements of others effect you in any way. You can create your own safety by deciding that no one’s opinion can really hurt you unless you choose to let it do so.

By the way, Joy Behar only suffers from stage fright when she’s doing her stand up routine. And Barbara Walters only gets nervous when people watch her dance.


A Confidence Forumla: Is There Such a Thing?

Is there a formula for confidence? Does it consist of certain components that when piled together create confidence?

I think this depends on how you define confidence. And since my definition is different from most others I would say, no. Confidence is not a collection of components. It isn’t created. It just is.

Then, as I read Dr. Larina Kase’s post over at her Mindset of Success blog, I realized that while confidence is not a collection of attributes or qualities, one’s experience of confidence is influenced by what we think about ourselves. For instance, I don’t think you can fully experience your confidence without a healthy self-esteem.

Yes, there is a difference between self-confidence and self-esteem.

Self-esteem is the value you see in yourself. Dictionary.com defines it as "a realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself; self-respect." Unless you respect who you are, you can’t experience a confidence in who you are. That inner confidence still exists; it’s just being squashed by your lack of self-respect, your unwillingness to hold yourself in high regard.
Strangely enough, there was just a study done that supposedly proved that we all have self-esteem, no matter how we present ourselves.

Anyway, enough with all the definitions and studies and formulas.

What matters is, are you experiencing a confidence in who you are, regardless of any definition or formula anyone may come up with? And if not, what’s up with that? What’s in your way?

More than likely, it’s a thought. Or a whole endless stream of thoughts that are probably creating some definition of who you are. Or aren’t.

What you think creates your experience. What you think of and about yourself, your situation, your past experience, your competence and how you interpret your results or respond to what is happening all have a huge influence on your abilility to know and express your confidence. Change your thinking, change your experience of confidence.

Dr. Larina calls this Mindset. But whatever you call it, you can change it in order to allow yourself a greater experience of your natural, non-formulaic confidence. As well as many other wonderful things, like abunance, joy, success. But that’s a different post all together.


Public Speaking Myths: Would Steve Jobs Ever Use Note Cards?

Is it a sin to use notes when giving a speech? Should you have your presentation memorized and so well practiced that you never need to glance at a note card?

According to Garr Reynolds over at Presentation Zen and an email from Eric Feng at The Public Speaking Blog, you should never, ever use notes or cue cards. To do so, according to them, means certain death as a speaker.

I wholeheartedly disagree. There is nothing wrong with using notes as long as you don’t misuse them.

But before I dig into this, you should know that both Garr’s and Eric’s directives were inspired by Cingular’s CEO Stan Sigman’s recent speech at MacWorld back in January. Apparently Stan bored his audience by reading his speech from his 4×5 note cards. Ugh! Not only did he lose his audience but he inspired the online insults and distain of several bloggers who were in attendance.

But was Stan’s demise because of his use of notes or his misuse of notes? I believe it was the latter. I agree that no one should read their speech from there notes. If you’re going to read it, you might as well not even bother to present it.

There is a way to use notes effectively and confidently. To ellaborate, let me jump off of the points from Dale Carnegie that Garr used in his blog post. (They appear near the middle of his post).

Point One: "Notes destroy fifty percent of the interest in your talk."

My Take: Only if you read them or are so tied to them that you aren’t able to speak conversationally, naturally. Notes won’t "destroy" anything if you use them as a tool to keep you headed in the right direction.

Read more

Creating Confidence – Or, Do As I Say, Not as I Do

I hate it when I don’t take my own advice.

Last week my husband and I went to hear my friend Tom play jazz at Equus Restaurant in Santa Rosa. Tom plays bass in my jazz trio, but this night he was playing with his own trio made up of pianist, John Simon, and a drummer whose first name is Paul. I didn’t catch his last name.

As we were sitting there, listening, sipping Zinfandel and contemplating the menu, Tom asked me if I wanted to sit in and sing a few tunes. An invitation to sing! My favorite thing. So, of course, I said yes. I didn’t have my own music but this group knew "I Get A Kick Out of You" so we swung it in C major.

Great! Fabulous. What fun.

Well, then Tom asked me to come up and sing again in the second set. Sure, you betcha. As the pianist launched into "Skylark", I couldn’t really hear my first note from his introduction but I just opened my mouth and took a guess. A wrong guess. I started wrong, but quickly found my way to the right pitch, and the rest of the song went beautifully.

Ah, but that first note! The very first one! To screw that up. Ugh!

I went on to sing a very fun duet with Tom, which we had never done before, and it was great. The crowd loved it. My husband loved it. But I was back in the past, mulling over my previous mistake. Damn, that first note of Skylark.

In fact, I couldn’t let it go all night. Driving home. Going to bed. Even getting up the next day. That mistake haunted me.
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