My new friend and sister in fearless self-expression is Tuck Self, the Rebel Belle. Born and raised to be a gentile southern lady, Tuck lived most of her life catering to the whims and desires of those around her, nurturing her loved ones while ignoring her own wild dreams, and making sure everyone was cozy and comfy before caring for herself.

Not any more!

Liberating herself from her past conditioning, Tuck is the self-proclaimed "Rebel Belle — a Southern Voice for Bold Self-Expression" and she wants YOU to come along with her to claim your dreams, your purpose, AND YOUR VOICE!

I’ve been enjoying Tuck’s new blog and her email course "The Rebel Belle Guide to Bold Self-Expression: 7 Steps to Discovering Freedom." Even though I’ve only received the first four steps so far, there is some good stuff here!

My favorite step is "A Tissue for Your Issue" where this Rebel Belle gives you a clear, empowering way to work with any issue that is keeping you from what you really want. This process can be helpful in getting to the guts of why you are feeling scared or nervous about speaking or performing in public.

It separates the facts from your own fearful perceptions, allows all those fears and judgments to have their voice, and finally brings it around to creating what you want for yourself through awareness, understanding and taking responsibility for your experience. (Thank you, Tuck!)

As Tuck says:

"Once you are aware of the patterns and conditioning that drive your thoughts and behaviors, once you understand how they create your reality, you can take ownership. And, once you take ownership, you are on the road to freedom. You have the tools you need to take responsibility for your circumstances and get your power back. You don’t just create some of your reality. You create all of it. And, with the Rebel Belle at your side, giving you tips and tools, you are well on your way to bold self-expression — full out and on your own terms."

There are so many fun and helpful gems offered by the Rebel Belle. Even if you’re not from the south and not a "belle," this blog can’t help but get your stirred up and wanting to scream in the streets "Yes, I will have my voice! Yes, I will live MY life!"

Claim your own bold self-expression. The Rebel Belle will support you all the way!

Tags: Self-Expression Public Speaking Fear Communication

She started singing a year ago, this small, shy Japanese woman, and yet there she was.
On stage, singing "My Romance" in an unever, halting manner, with a heavy Japanese accent.

Her voice tended to shake at the end of each phrase. She took breaths in inappropriate places, her phrasing was choppy and crude, and she would slow down dramatically when she was uncertain of what came next.

And I fell in love with her. She was thoroughly engaging, captivating and real.

This all happened last night in San Francisco at Thick Tuesday, a monthly salon/workshop/open mic for singers hosted by my two buddies, Lua Hadar and Linda Kosut, both of whom are professional singers and the "keepers of the flame" of the cabaret community in San Francisco.

Singers of all levels of experience show up for this evening in order to perform, learn and meet other singers. It’s a safe place for beginning singers to start singing in front of an audience and a fun place for professionals to try out new material in a very supportive environment.

What killed me about this 40-something Japanese woman was that her performance of "My Romance" was not only amateur but tecnicially and artistically horrible. And it was deeply touching, romantic and lovely. I was completely captivated by her and her song because she presented herself and sang in such an honest, revealing way.

She didn’t try to fool us into thinking she was a more experienced or mature singer than she was. She just walked up on stage and sang that song the best she could at that moment. And her performance was sweet, touching and mezmerizing.

I know a lot of you feel like I do most of the time. We don’t want to do anything in public in less we’re really good at it. We wouldn’t dream of getting up on stage to perform or speak unless we felt sure we could do a pretty good job. I mean, we don’t want to show what we DON’T know. We don’t want to show off our LACK of talent and skill.

But this beginning singer reminded me, once again, that it’s not about knowing anything or having special talent and skill. It’s all about showing up and being who you are in that moment. Being willing to share whatever you have to give, in that moment, honestly, openly, without pretending.

And if you can show up and be who you are, without trying to be more practiced, more professional, more skilled than you are, people just might fall in love with you.

I, for one, cannot wait to hear this woman sing again. Not because I’m going to be dazzled by her technique, but because I know she will wake me up to the beauty of being a beginner who isn’t afraid to be a beginner. Because I know that throughout whatever song she may sing, I’ll get to hear her and see her as she really is. And fall in love all over again.

Tags: Performing Singing Self-Confidence Singers

Argh!

Ever since I admitted to the WORLD that I was in the process of writing a book, I’ve had Page Fright.

That’s right, not Stage Fright, but Page Fright.

This is when you appear before that blank page and freeze up. There it is, that new Word document, staring you in the face, asking you to perform, to do something brilliant and entertaining and witty and utterly fabulous. And all you can do is stare back, dumbstruck and paralyzed.

It was going so well! Then, as soon as I wanted to post some of my writing on this blog for all the world to see, I started editing what I had to make it presentable. I mean, what I had was so rough, it needed editing.

But in that transition from free writing to "make presentable," I got Page Fright.

The analogy fits.

Page Fright, Stage Fright, it’s all the same thing, isn’t it?

Isn’t this where we get tripped up when we’re about to go on stage and give a presentation or sing a song? Our initial inspiration and joy for our subject, for getting to share what we love, gets squashed by the fear that whatever we present won’t be acceptable, "presentable," or even understandable by our audience.

This is the trick. How can I, we, stay connected to our original "Yes!" or initial joy and inspiration as we take what we know to the stage OR to the page?

Well, the first chapter for my book tells you how to do just that. Well, perhaps I should go back and read it so I can start using what I already know!

But until then, I want to share what I just read on Graham English’s blog about writing. It was so helpful to me in my time of Page Fright.

Johnny Mercer, the songwriter, said he used to write for the waste basket. When I first heard this, it blew my mind. After hearing a 3 minute song that seems so perfect, many people get the impression that it was written the way they heard it — in a short flash of inspiration. And even though we know better, we can be overly critical of work too soon in the process.

Graham goes on with some great pointers for powerful writing. Thanks, Graham!