Is there a formula for confidence? Does it consist of certain components that when piled together create confidence?
I think this depends on how you define confidence. And since my definition is different from most others I would say, no. Confidence is not a collection of components. It isn’t created. It just is.
Then, as I read Dr. Larina Kase’s post over at her Mindset of Success blog, I realized that while confidence is not a collection of attributes or qualities, one’s experience of confidence is influenced by what we think about ourselves. For instance, I don’t think you can fully experience your confidence without a healthy self-esteem.
Yes, there is a difference between self-confidence and self-esteem.
Self-esteem is the value you see in yourself. Dictionary.com defines it as "a realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself; self-respect." Unless you respect who you are, you can’t experience a confidence in who you are. That inner confidence still exists; it’s just being squashed by your lack of self-respect, your unwillingness to hold yourself in high regard.
Strangely enough, there was just a study done that supposedly proved that we all have self-esteem, no matter how we present ourselves.
Anyway, enough with all the definitions and studies and formulas.
What matters is, are you experiencing a confidence in who you are, regardless of any definition or formula anyone may come up with? And if not, what’s up with that? What’s in your way?
More than likely, it’s a thought. Or a whole endless stream of thoughts that are probably creating some definition of who you are. Or aren’t.
What you think creates your experience. What you think of and about yourself, your situation, your past experience, your competence and how you interpret your results or respond to what is happening all have a huge influence on your abilility to know and express your confidence. Change your thinking, change your experience of confidence.
Dr. Larina calls this Mindset. But whatever you call it, you can change it in order to allow yourself a greater experience of your natural, non-formulaic confidence. As well as many other wonderful things, like abunance, joy, success. But that’s a different post all together.