Personal Development and the Bloggers Who Love It

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Just when I was starting to wonder if anyone even reads this blog, I received word that Unconditional Confidence is on an expanding list of outstanding personal development blogs started by Priscilla Palmer. There are some pretty hot bloggers on the list, including some of my favorites, like Tuck Self of the Rebel Belle blog, Kim George of Doing What You Can Do, and my buddy Andy Wibbels, who got me hooked on this blogging thing in the first place.

I’m so thrilled to be included. And since this list has introduced me to some great blogs, I thought you might want to discover them as well. Here’s the list.

Thank you, Priscilla, for starting this!

There’s a ton more, so keep reading!

Your Big Mouth: Why Public Speaking Is Your Most Powerful Marketing ToolPart Three

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On Friday August 17, I spoke at a Connections Networking meeting in Santa Rosa to a group of women entrepreneurs. The subject was, “Your Big Mouth: Your Most Powerful Marketing and Public Relations Tool.”

Since I created all this juicy content for this speech, I thought I’d share it with you here. I’ve broken it up into three installments, but if you want to hear a recording of the actual speech, you can! It’s located at the end of this post.

___________

Picking up where we left off, here are some more suggestions for creating your presentation:

Give Something Away

Don’t you love getting an expected gift? Or being the one to win a raffle prize? Well, so does your audience. People love free stuff, especially if it is something they consider valuable.

In almost every speech I give, I have a drawing and give away a prize. Often, it’s a product of mine, like the Engage Your Audience CD or a Special Report. But sometimes I give away music CD’s created by my singer friends. So, if you don’t have your own product, give away something else.

Pass around a hat and let everyone put in their business card. Then, draw a name (or two if you have more than one prize to give away) and announce the winner. This is a great way to include your audience, create a little break from the subject of your speech, and get the business card of everyone in your audience! Now, you can follow up with them, ask them to sign up for your newsletter, or offer them a special discount on something.

My singer friends, Lua Hadar and Linda Kosut used to perform together as The Kitchenettes. During one of their gigs at a small San Francisco restaurant, they passed the hat, had a drawing, and gave away fun kitchen gadgets, like an old egg beater and a crazy apron. People loved it, the gifts fit “The Kitchenettes” theme, and Linda and Lua were able to collect everyone’s business card.

What can you give away? Can it complement what you are speaking about or help to promote your business?
Read more →

Intermission: Now a Word from EricOr How to Create Great Content for Your Speech

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Before I continue with the Your Big Mouth series, I want to take a quick intermission to turn you on to some expert advise on creating great content for your speech.

My blogging buddy, Eric Feng, is a master public speaker who is currently blogging a great series of posts, called “7 Eric-trifying Ways to Charm The Pants Off of Your Audience,” that complement what we are talking about in the Your Big Mouth series. Especially Part II of his series where Eric talks about Solid Content & High Speech Value.

If there is no substance then there is really no point wasting your audience’s time delivering the speech. And for those of who are always seeking to impact your audience, this would be a good starting point.

Here are three questions to consider as you prepare your speech or presentation:

1. Does my speech contain substance?
2. Can the audience use it right away, like today?
3. Do they get better after hearing my speech?

Okay, hopefully some of that sounds familiar. But Eric continues with a cool way to set up an expectation of value by how you start your speech.

Also, Eric has some very fun ideas for jazzing up your speech in Part 3 of his Eric-trifying series. Though I can’t believe he suggests peeing with your mic turned on so the audience can hear you. That’s one way to get their attention!

While you’re checking out Eric’s blog, be sure to sign up for a free chapter of his soon-to-be-released book, “The FAQ Book on Public Speaking.”

And now on to Part III of “Your Big Mouth: Why Public Speaking is Your Most Powerful Marketing Tool.”

Your Big Mouth: Why Public Speaking Is Your Most Powerful Marketing ToolPart Two

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Last Friday, I spoke at a Connections Networking meeting in Santa Rosa to a group of women entrepreneurs. The subject was, “Your Big Mouth: Your Most Powerful Marketing and Public Relations Tool.”

Since I created all this juicy content for this speech, I thought I’d share it with you here. I’ve broken it up into three installments, but if you want to hear a recording of the actual speech, you can! It’s located at the end of this post.

________________

Now that you know the impact public speaking can have on your marketing and public relations plans, what are you going to talk about? How do you design a 20-minute speech that will represent you well, show your expertise and richly benefit your audience?

Whatever you choose to speak about, here is a good rule of thumb: Give your audience something they can put to use that day. Give them information, tips, tools, whatever, that they can use to make a change, to move them closer to where they want to be.

It doesn’t have to be complex or profound. It can be very simple. For instance, if you’re a nutritionist, you could tell your audience to drink an additional glass of water every day. Or three tips on how not to get sick on an airplane. If you’re an esthetician, it could be as easy as telling your audience to use sunscreen.

Give, give, and give good, usable information. In fact, think of your speech as a mini-training. What can you teach your audience that will allow them to make a change that will benefit them? A change they can start to make today?

Go deep, not wide. What I mean by this is, dig deep into one or two points rather than shallowly skip through 17 points. If you have 20 minutes, you have enough time to dig deep into one or two points, maximum. Maybe three if you push it. But why push it?

Your audience needs time and repetition to really digest and integrate what you are telling them. You already know what you know, but your audience may not. So, take the time to flesh out each point you make by using examples, stories, statistics, and anecdotes. Give people a lot of ways to get your point.

Anytime you can use a story to illustrate your point, use it. People love hearing stories, and they can more easily take in information when it comes in the form of a story.

I have a client who speaks on the driest material imaginable. Budgeting and cost analysis. His presentations are full of graphs, charts, and long columns of numbers. What a snooze fest!

But he enlivens his presentation with these great stories of his experiences in working with people, stories that sound like excerpts from a soap opera. These stories illustrate his point while keeping his audience awake and amazed.

Another way to illustrate your point is with a demonstration. Another client of mine is a hair stylist, and she did this fun yet highly informative talk on how to talk to your hair stylist. She asked for audience volunteers to role-play an imaginary conversation, making her points all along the way.

Invite audience interaction. How can you include them, get then involved in what you are talking about? This could be as easy as posing a question and having each person turn to the person next to them and talk about it for a few moments. Or you can use props, toys and handouts that become part of the party. Tom Antion is famous for having some kind of toy or gizmo at each person’s place that he effortlessly ties into the theme of his presentation.

Whatever you choose to do, do it your way. I can throw out ideas and suggestions, but you need to create a presentation that works for you as well as your audience. I may love using audience volunteers, but that might not sound all that great to you.

Always ask yourself this question: How can I offer this information in a way that would be outrageously fun for me? Let go of all the rules and suggestions and instruction, and ask yourself, “How can this be outrageously fun for ME?” Because if it’s fun for you, it will be fun and enthralling to your audience. And when you tune in to your sense of fun, you are tuning into your own creative juices and your natural confidence.

My client Sheila was so nervous about an upcoming presentation she had to give at an industry conference. She hadn’t done any public speaking for so long, and this was an incredible opportunity for her to establish herself as an expert in her field, and she was really scared of blowing it.

To make matters worse, the conference organizers demanded that all presentations follow a specific format that was highly restrictive and left no room for creativity or imagination.

I told Sheila to just forget about all the rules and regulations for now, forget about the prescribed format, and just ask herself, “How can I present this material in a way that would be outrageously fun for me?” As she sat with that question, she came up with a great idea that involved a ventriloquist dummy and some outlandish costumes. From there, she was on her way to creating a presentation that she couldn’t wait to give. And, yes, she was even able to make it all fit within the limitations prescribed by the conference.

We forget that self-expression can be fun. When we were kids, we knew that instinctively. We sang and danced and play-acted our days away, recruiting our friends to play along. I used to make my father sit through my created-in-an-instant musicals, filled with bad dance moves and questionable scriptwriting, but I was having the time of my life.

What kinds of self-expression did you love most as a kid? What venues of self-expression do you most enjoy now and how can you incorporate them into your speech? If you love to talk endlessly with friends, then you’ve got it made. Just get up there and chat away. If you love to draw, you can use flip charts, or create your own vaudeville-type announcement boards that announce each point as you present it. I love to sing, so if I can incorporate a song that ties into my speech, you can bet I’ll sing it!

In the next installment, we’ll talk about some more ingredients you can use in your speech that will make it fun and powerful for you and your audience.

Here’s the audio file of the speech I gave last Friday, August 17.


MP3 File

Your Big Mouth: Why Public Speaking Is Your Most Powerful Marketing ToolPart One

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Last Friday, I spoke at a Connections Networking meeting in Santa Rosa to a group of women entrepreneurs. The subject was, “Your Big Mouth: Your Most Powerful Marketing and Public Relations Tool.”

Since I created all this juicy content for this speech, I thought I’d share it with you here. I’ve broken it up into three installments, but if you want to hear a recording of the actual speech, you can! It’s located at the end of this post.

___________________

I’m going to confess right here and now, I am a marketing junkie. I love marketing. From the tried and true, good old-fashioned variety to the slick, new internet marketing. And I have spent thousands and thousands of dollars on all kinds of marketing tools, marketing plans, marketing trainings, and thousands more learning how to use blogs, podcasts, vlogs, article marketing, MySpace and Craigslist as marketing tools.

Gee, you would think I would be famous by now!

What I have learned from all this expense and experience is this: There is still no single marketing/PR tool that is more powerful, cost-effective, comprehensive and essential than your own big mouth: your ability to talk about who you are and what you do.

Because you can have the flashiest website, the most spectacular direct mail marketing piece, a stellar press release, and all the promotional do-dads in the world, but sooner or later, you are going to have to talk to someone. Someone is going to call you on the phone or come up to you at a networking meeting, and say, “Hey, tell me what you’re all about.” And what you say, how you say it and who you are being while you say it, is either going to move the relationship forward or stop it dead in its tracks.

You use your big mouth as a marketing tool all the time. When you go to networking meeting and you talk to others about your business. You use it all day long as you engage with clients, potential clients, vendors, associates.

But today, we’re going to talk about the big banana of Big Mouth Marketing, and that is public speaking.
Read more →

Maybe You Should Be Afraid

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My friend Michelle, who is a fabulous NLP practitioner, always says that the fear of public speaking is irrational because audiences may hate what you have to say but they don’t come chasing after you with torches and pitchforks.

Oh, yeah?

Well, if a karaoke singer can be attacked, why not a speaker?

It happened on Thursday, August 9, in Seattle, Washington. A well-meaning guy got up to sing a Coldplay song and a woman not only yelled at him, she went up on stage, pushed the guy AND PUNCHED HIM!

Here’s the whole story:
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/327017_karaoke10.html

Gee, you all, I feel like a owe you an apology, especially in light of my post about relying on the kindness of strangers. But I really think you’ll be just fine as long as you avoid singing songs by Coldplay.

Moving my blog

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I recently moved my blog out of MoveableType to WordPress.

Gotta say, I’m loving it. But I need to switch all my Technorati stuff.

Hence, this post. It’s just a post to tell Technorati that I’m here in my new home.

Technorati Profile

August Newsletter:Summer Sizzle For Your Speaking Skills

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In this Issue

  • Public Speaking and the Kindness of Strangers
  • Add Some Summer Sizzle to Your Speech
  • Fun Stuff From My Fabulous Friends

Confidence Quotes for Summer

“Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.”

~Benjamin Franklin

“If things go wrong, don’t go with them.”

~Roger Babson

“I’ve developed a new philosophy… I only dread one day at a time.”

~Charlie Brown (Charles Schulz)


What’s Happening Over At The Blog?

Happy Birthday, Tony

Shy About Speaking Up in Public?

Beverly Sills: The Queen of Confidence

No Nerves Allowed on the Next Food Network Star

 

Are you enjoying your summer? Are you taking time off to just goof around? Well, I’m not!

I’ve been writing up a storm (because of Jeff Herring’s Article Marketing Class, re-doing my blog (as a result of being in Yaro Starak’s Blogging MasterMind, performing a lot (that’s me in the photo singing with my jazz boys at Upper Fourth) and preparing for several speaking and singing gigs coming up in September.

But I’m not complaining. I’ve been having a great time with this summer madness. And I’m really looking forward to refining my confidence chops in September when I’ll be speaking and singing for some pretty important audiences. Ah, piece of cake, right?

Speaking of confidence, I’ve got some “hot” tips for you on how to spice up your summer speeches, plus an article on how your audience can be your best ally when you feel like you’re melting into a pitiful blob on stage. Not that that will ever happen to you, but just in case.

Enjoy the rest of your summer!
Nancy

Public Speaking and the Kindness of Strangers

Have you ever had a speaking disaster where you felt you were losing your mind in front of an audience and there was nothing you could do about it?

“Wow, there are so many eyes looking at me!” That was the first thing she said, our speaker for the morning. She was obviously nervous. She shifted her weight from foot to foot, fidgeted a bit, and then started talking about her subject. She didn’t get very far before she stopped and said, “Geez, I’m nervous. I had no idea there would be so many of you.” At this point, she seemed to lose her train of thought. She looked down at her notes but it was as if they weren’t there. “Man. Okay, let’s see if I can figure out what I’m saying…”

Just when it seemed that she would unravel before us, her audience rescued her. They jumped in with questions about her subject, even though she hadn’t said much about it yet. Any time she reached a place where she didn’t know how to proceed, someone from the audience would ask another question.

She got through her 20-minute presentation by answering questions. If the audience hadn’t swooped in like they did, who know what would have happened. And because they swooped in, I left that meeting thinking, we really can rely on the kindness of strangers.

We forget all too easily that people are basically kind. Audiences are generous and pretty easy going. They want you, the speaker, to do well and feel comfortable. So much so that they are willing to help you out in any way they can.

But only if you let them.

Read the rest of this article here.

Add Some Summer Sizzle to Your Speech

Hey, since it’s summer, why not add a little sizzle to your next speech?

Now, I don’t normally give you suggestions on content — on what to actually say in your speech — because I feel strongly that that needs to come from you. It’s your message, not mine. But here are a few “accessories” to add a little spark and fun.

Add the 7 “S’s” of Spicy Speech Writing to your speech and have some fun!

1. Surprise!

Even if you don’t like surprises your audience will. How can you surprise them as they sit there listening to you patiently? It can even be something simple like giving away a prize. You could even conduct a mini game show where you ask a question and the first person to answer wins a prize. Use props, sound effects or movements that are wacky and unexpected, but still fit in with the “theme” of your speech.

2. Sensuality

How can you engage all the senses of your audience? A friend of mine does this by taking her audience on a visualized journey in which she describes a certain scene in vivid detail, including the sounds, smells, textures and sights. Another way is to actually have something they can touch or even smell. Kind of like show and tell. Their sense of hearing and sight are engaged by listening and looking at you, but can you spice it up by including props, photos, or by wearing an elaborate costume? Use music. If you’re telling them about your trip to Brazil, can you cue up some Brazilian music?

3. Simile & Southern Sayings

You know what a simile is, don’t you? It’s a figure of speech in which two very different things are compared in order to describe something. For instance, “her hair was like silk” or “the news hit me like a bucket of cold water.” The use of simile can spice up your speech because it adds imagery and the unexpected. Another form of simile shows up in southern expressions, like, “He was dumber than a sack of hammers” or “I was a sober as a preacher on Sunday,” or “she was two fries short of a Happy Meal.” These add a little humor and fun.

4. Sing!

Being a singer myself, I love to just throw in a song or a phrase of a song if it is relevant to what I am saying. People love it because it breaks up the monotony of talk, talk, talk and audiences appreciate anyone who has enough guts to sing a little, even if they can’t sing in tune. In fact, the worse you are, the more entertaining it can be for your audience. Just be sure to give it your all.

5. Self-Effacing Humor

My friend Jim always starts his speeches by making fun of himself in some way. It could be about how he’s dressed or some embarrassing thing that happened to him that day. He does this because it breaks that initial tension he feels when first gets up there and starts talking, and it gets the audience laughing right away. Besides, audiences tend to engage with someone who is not afraid to laugh at himself in public.

6. Significant Moment

Can you share a moment in your life that holds a lot of significance for you? Something that woke you up or changed your life? By sharing these moments or stories, you create an atmosphere of intimacy and trust, and people love to feel inspired by the experiences of others.

7. Story, Story and More Story

Stories are like salt and pepper. They should be your most dependable and highly used spices when it comes to creating your speeches. People love hearing stories. It must be in our DNA because we have been fascinated with story forever. Use stories to illustrate your points and your audience will be enraptured.

Let the 7 S’s of spicy speech writing zip up your speech this summer.

Want to read some more articles like this one? Check out my blog.

Fun Stuff From My Fabulous Friends

The Public Speaking Blog

The great thing about having a blog is that you meet other crazy bloggers who have similar interests and passions. Well, one of my blogging buddies is Eric Feng of The Public Speaking Blog.

Eric is a professional speaker who writes with passion and honesty about EVERYTHING related to public speaking. Now, Eric and I have our differences of opinion from time to time, but even when we’re arguing, it’s clear to me that his heart is always in the right place. He only wants to be of service to people who want to sharpen their public speaking skills.

The best way to get a taste of what Eric is all about is to sign up to receive his email newsletters (http://blog.ericfeng.com/). I’ve been reading and enjoying them for months now, and I’m very impressed by how prolific Eric is when it comes to sharing what he knows. You can sign up at his blog. Let me know what you think.

——————————————–

If You Are Interested in Skyrocketing Your Internet Business…

Okay, I don’t’ normally talk about business stuff in the e-zine, but if you are wanting to attract more business through the internet, you will want to know about this.

Take it from me. I have spent thousands of dollars in classes, coaching and other education in an attempt to build my business online. Most of it has been a total waste of time and money.

But now I have found a program that is paying off! It’s the Article Writing and Marketing telecourse by Jeff Herring, The Article Guy. Ever since I started doing what Jeff taught me, I’ve experienced a significant increase in the number of people signing up for my e-zine as well as people contacting me to ask about my programs and products.

I only wish I had found Jeff sooner!

Jeff teaches you how to radically boost your business by writing and submitting articles to article directories. Then he shows you how to take those articles you’ve already written and turn them into information products that you can sell to your clients.

So, if you like to write and want to discover a fun, rewarding way to attract new business and create some valuable information products, sign up for Jeff’s Fall course, Article Writing and Marketing Secrets.

Happy writing!

As always, I sincerely appreciate you making room in your emailbox for this e-zine. I hope you find it valuable and fun to read.

Hey, what would you like to see in this ezine? What do you want to know? If you could ask any question about speaking or performing in public and receive the perfect answer, what would that one question be?

Let me know by dropping me an email at nancy[at]unconditionalconfidence[dot]com.

Or if you’re having too much summer fun to even think about such things, that’s okay. I’ll catch you in the Fall!

Confidently yours,
Nancy Tierney

P.S. If you know someone who might enjoy receiving the “Becoming Fearless” ezine, would you forward this ezine to them? Or better yet, tell them to hop on over to my website and sign up for a copy of their own.

I appreciate your help in spreading the word.

nancy tierney

 
 

Happy Birthday, Tony!

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tony-bennett-bh01.jpgToday is Tony Bennett’s birthday. He’s 81, and I am so in love with him.

I’m listening to him now. He’s singing, “Keep smiling at trouble, for trouble is a bubble, and bubbles will soon fly away…”

Sing it, Tony! You are the MAN!

Why am I so in love with Tony Bennett? Maybe because as a singer who is now 50 years old, I find it extremely encouraging to hear someone sing so damned well at age 81. But it’s more than that.

He has a charisma that isn’t showy, over-the-top, or confrontive. He just is who he is, humble, sweet and so in love with what he is doing. He lets the song be the star, not him. Though there are those moments when he’s belting the bejeebers out of the final phrase of “For Once in My Life.” By the way, you MUST check out the duet with Tony and Stevie Wonder on the Duets CD. It is unfreakin’ believable.

All of that and he sings so beautifully. As he’s aged, his voice has gotten a little husky around the edges but it only makes him sound more real, human and believable. But hey, I am sooooo biased. An infatuated fan.

But my infatuation aside, Tony teaches us that being real without any flash, pomp or antics is what real charisma is all about. Authenticity is the essential ingredient in charisma, otherwise it’s just superficial shenanigans. He also is a great example of someone who is so in love with his “message,” which is every song he sings, that he always bows to the meaning and nobility of each song, letting that be the thing that comes above all else. Just like your message, your offering of information or even entertainment needs to be the focus or “the star” of your speech or show.

Or maybe I just needed an excuse to share with you my crazy love for Tony and so I’m trying to make it relevant to the subject of this blog. But I don’t think so. I don’t fall in love too easily. And there is a reason why Tony Bennett is still selling records and singing to sold out crowds.

Happy Birthday, Tony! Thank you for the music. And the lessons in real charisma.

Add Some Summer Sizzle to Your Speech

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sunHey, it’s summer. Time to lighten up and add a little sizzle to your next speech.
Here are some light-hearted suggestions:

The 7 “S’s” of Spicy Speech Writing

1. Surprise!

Even if you don’t like surprises your audience will. How can you surprise them as they sit there listening to you patiently? It can even be something simple like giving away a prize. You could even conduct a mini game show where you ask a question and the first person to answer wins a prize. Use props, sound effects or movements that are wacky and unexpected, but still fit in with the “theme” of your speech.

2. Sensual

How can you engage all the senses of your audience? A friend of mine does this by taking her audience on a visualized journey in which she describes a certain scene in vivid detail, including the sounds, smells, textures and sights. Another way is to actually have something they can touch or even smell. Kind of like show and tell. Their sense of hearing and sight are engaged by listening and looking at you, but can you spice it up by including props, photos, or by wearing an elaborate costume? Use music. If you’re telling them about your trip to Brazil, can you cue up some Brazilian music?

3. Simile & Southern Sayings

You know what a simile is, don’t you? It’s a figure of speech in which two very different things are compared in order to describe something. For instance, “her hair was like silk” or “the news hit me like a bucket of cold water.” The use of simile can spice up your speech because it adds imagery and the unexpected. Another form of simile shows up in southern expressions, like, “He was dumber than a sack of hammers” or “I was a sober as a preacher on Sunday,” or “she was two fries short of a Happy Meal.” These add a little humor and fun.

4. Sing!

Being a singer myself, I love to just throw in a song or a phrase of a song if it is relevant to what I am saying. People love it because it breaks up the monotony of talk, talk, talk and audiences appreciate anyone who has enough guts to sing a little, even if they can’t sing in tune. In fact, the worse you are, the more entertaining it can be for your audience. Just be sure to give it your all.

5. Self-Effacing Humor

My friend Jim always starts his speeches by making fun of himself in some way. It could be about how he’s dressed or some embarrassing thing that happened to him that day. He does this because it breaks that initial tension he feels when first gets up there and starts talking, and it gets the audience laughing right away. Besides, audiences tend to engage with someone who is not afraid to laugh at himself in public.

6. Significant Moment

Can you share a moment in your life that holds a lot of significance for you? Something that woke you up or changed your life? By sharing these moments or stories, you create an atmosphere of intimacy and trust, and people love to feel inspired by the experiences of others.

7. Story, Story and More Story

Stories are like salt and pepper. They should be your most dependable and highly used spices when it comes to creating your speeches. People love hearing stories. It must be in our DNA because we have been fascinated with story forever. Use stories to illustrate your points and your audience will be enraptured.

Let the 7 S’s of spicy speech writing zip up your speech this summer.