Is gossiping the same as complaining?
Yesterday, I was doing great with my new challenge to stop complaining and start appreciating. Until I met my friend Jason for a mocha at the French Hotel in Berkeley. Jason and I don’t get to see each other very much so when we do, we talk about everything. Mostly about singers, singing, health issues, and what the heck we are doing with our lives. Simple stuff, like that.
Well, we fell into gossiping because it’s just too easy to do. And I was wondering, is this complaining? If I am talking negatively about anyone, is that complaining, or is it just…noticing. And then commenting? Offering opinion?
Now, when we were talking about health stuff, we were complaining. I admit it! I complained. I talked about something unwanted and I gave it energy, and that, to me, is a complaint. But I immediately started appreciating. I appreciated Jason, who is such a love. And the mocha I was drinking was so rich with really, really good chocolate. And the photos on the wall of the French Hotel were so interesting.
But what about gossiping?
I decided, after really looking at it, that if you are talking about someone else in a negative way, that IS complaining. Because you are saying: I don’t like this and I’m going to give it tons of energy by talking about it.
Even if you’re having a great time talking about it? Even if it feels really good?
Yes. Even if it feels really good. Because you know what? It doesn’t really feel all that good. It only feels good because we’re connecting with another human being by talking. But does it ever feel good to say negative things about anybody? Maybe temporarily. As the words are flying out of your mouth. But the aftertaste is bitter.
What do you think? Is gossiping a form of complaining?